Absent.

I've been absent for about two weeks.

Swine flu and bipolar are the culprits.

I am hoping that things are going to start looking up. Any day.
Swine flu is gone. I'm afraid bipolar is here to stay.

I love this time of year, before it gets really cold, and while it's not really hot.
This year somehow I missed the leaves falling from the trees.
Now they are mostly just on the ground. How do you miss something like that?
I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas and hoping that my family can
get together without a lot of drama.

We invited my kids father and his wife to come and stay with us at some point during Christmas. I don't think they are going to, but I know the kids are hoping they do.

Really I'm just hoping to get to Thanksgiving with all of our children still with us.
And then to Christmas. And then Valentines Day. And then Easter. You get the point.

I want to tell you guys funny stories. Not depressing ones. I want to write about being happy. Not about blah my life sucks. I want to tell you how amazing my children are and not how I'm afraid one of them is going to slit their wrists. I want to tell you how we are going to adopt a beautiful baby girl and not how I'm afraid we'll lose her in a couple of months.

I hate, hate, hate this dreary stuff. It makes me think of the leaves on the ground, already changing from green to beautiful shades of orange and red and missing that. Missing that beauty in life....only seeing them already dead and already on the ground. Makes me realize how much of life we miss sometimes. Not that I would change it for the world. My son being alive is more important than the leaves falling from trees. Watching P grow from that tiny infant into a little person is more important than the leaves changing colors. ...Doesn't mean I don't miss it. Doesn't mean that I don't realize sometimes life keeps going even though you feel like you are stopped dead in your tracks.

I read other blogs for the first time today. I've read a few here and there in the past couple of weeks, but I read a lot today. And I laughed. I smiled. It made me feel good. And I have to get myself back into that habit and back into writing about the good stuff. In fact, since it is getting close to Thanksgiving, I think I'll start writing about who or what I'm thankful for.

Get ready. I'm coming back.

Life

Sometimes life is just really, really

really

really

hard.

I'm just sayin.

Alive!!

We are alive!!!

I've had all week to do so many things, and all I've gotten done has been sitting on my butt and sleeping! But I think everyone is on the mend in our house, so that's all that matters!

The baby has a runny nose and sometimes is stopped up and has to breathe out of her mouth. I've contimplated taking her back to the doctor... AGAIN.... but I might wait this one out until after the weekend and see how she does. I guess if she gets worse I can always take her to Urgent Care or to the ER. Poor baby.

Nothing else to write about really. I'm really, really ready to be back out and about. I love our house, but I'm really tired of being IN it!

Have a great weekend!!!

Swine flu....wooo hoooo

UPDATE:
OMG. My boss said that the symptoms do not last as long and are much milder than the regular flu... I would have to disagree.

Last week I started sneezing a lot, which is normal for me at this time of year. Friday I thought I had a sinus infection. By Saturday I thought my head was going to blow up. I slept every chance I got, but Toni was in a differnet town seeing her mom, so I had to take care of the kiddos and the baby, which meant getting ready for Halloween. By Sunday I thought I was going to DIE. I think I was awake maybe 4-5 hours the whole day. My body ached so badly that I was pretty sure I had the flu, but then staying in bed so long made it even worse... so I thought maybe it was just a sinus infection...

Monday I still felt bad so I went to the dr. They tested for flu, strep, and checked my cbc. Influenza A. They got me out pretty quickly...lol... and told me to call the pediatrician who would not test the baby for flu earlier that morning and let her know that I for sure had it.

I have never run a fever.

But I still feel like death. Crazy. This stuff isn't fun. My lungs are full of junk and I have to have a chest xray (the doc said they sound okay, but I'm coughing up green stuff). My head hurts and feels like it's going to explode. My ears are on fire, but the doctor said they look fine. My nose is so stopped up that I can't breathe. It's been 6 days since I started sneezing, 4 days since I thought I had a sinus infection, 3 days since I knew something wasn't right, and 2 days since I thought I was going to die! And I'm still sick and would rather be in bed than anything else! Seems a bit worse than regular flu.

Today I'm taking the other two heathens to get tested. Headaches, sore throats.....

I'm tired of everyone being sick. And I really, really hate the smell of Lysol.


Original post:

Yep.

I have it.

:(

Zachary

Zachary Len...


Today you are
12 years old


Wow, how time has flown by...


You have gone from such a cute little boy
to a good-looking young man


You are a hard worker
You are funny
You always make me smile


Your smile lights up a room
And you have something else that can clear a room
(I'll be nice and not put it here)

Even though sometimes you get tired of having a little sister,

You are a GREAT big brother

I am so so proud of you

and of who you have become

I am so, so proud of you

and proud to be your Aunt.

I love you

and I hope you have a wonderful birthday!

Love,
Aunt Jill

Dodging a bullet....

This week seems to be full of dodging bullets.


My close friend Chris has had sick kiddos for the last two weeks, with her youngest being the sickest. She called the doctor this morning to see what the results were of his most recent blood work and they told her that his white cell count was over 17,000 (normal is 5,000 to 10,000). They thought he had leukemia. She called me and asked me to pray, which I had already been doing. They took more blood and it came back absolutely fine. He's still really nauscious so they gave him lots of food and are going to see if he can keep it down and then let them go home.


My heart broke when she told me they thought it was leukemia. I cannot imagine hearing that my child had leukemia. I am so thankful that they dodged that bullet.


We dodged a bullet on Wednesday. Some of you are friends on my facebook page and read my status that day as being "I'm pissed off". We had an incident with P. Everything is okay, but we dodged a very large bullet that day.


And I can't explain it here. Just know that she's okay and right back where she belongs... with us.


Toni and I keep thinking we are getting sick. Headaches, sinus issues, feeling like crap, but then we feel better. I think we are dodging the flu bullet... hopefully it will last. Today I feel like crap.


Halloween is tomorrow. I cannot believe this day is already here! Miss P is going to be Santa Claus, Jaiden is going to be a werewolf, and Drey is going to be... ummm... a vampire??? They are going to scare small innocent children in our front yard. We'll distract them with Santa and then the werewolf and vampire will strike. Poor kids.

And the winner is....

I've had a very hard time with this purchase.

Buying a vehicle isn't the easiest thing in the world.

Coming up with an "easy" payment for 5 years sucks.

It might be "easy" today, but it might not be easy next year.

And we were about 6 months away from having the Jeep paid off,

so that makes it harder.

And there are other things making it a hard purchase.

We are buying something for our children.

For room.

For trips.

For leg space.

For any future kids we might have.

So it had to be just right.

We looked at SUVs.

We looked at minivans.

We went back to SUVs

Then back to minivans.

The only SUV that we thought had enough room for baby gear

was the Toyota Sequoia.

But I refused to pay that much for one.

So we had to either settle for an SUV with not enough room and

resort to one of those ugly boxes that goes on top of your vehicle when you travel

or buy a minivan.

And then there's the... but it's a minivan.....

I'm not old enough to drive a minivan.

I don't have enough kids to drive a minivan.

I'm not a soccer mom. Or a football mom.

AND there's the freedom thing.

We have been talking about me quiting my job.

Gasp

Yes, even in these economic times, with the threat of losing your job every time you turn around and everywhere you turn seeing someone who needs a job... I was going to quit mine.

And be a stay-at-home mommy.

And a part-time photographer.

But we were in the situation that if I were going to quit my job, we'd have to get another foster kid, for sure... or two... and we would need a bigger vehicle. We couldn't get a bigger vehicle if I were going to quit my job.

So we got a bigger vehicle and we are going to get another kid.

Out of all of the vehicles we've driven over the past two weeks,

the winner is:

a Toyota Sienna.

We sign the papers tomorrow.

On the hunt...

For a 7-8 passenger vehicle that HAS storage space in the back.

Tahoe's are too short - there is no storage in the back.
Suburban's are too long - I don't want to drive a bus, nor do I wish to pay that gas bill.

We have driven EVERYTHING imaginable! Trailblazers (extended, with 3rd row seating), minivans, Sequioa's, Pathfinders.... can anyone tell me something we haven't driven that has lots of leg room in the back for a 15 year old boy and lots of storage room for our trips???

I'm so sick of looking at vehicles and dealing with salesmen!!

But... it's a must if we are going to get another child!!!