I should have clarified in my last post what exactly happened.
You know, since y'all can't read minds and all....
The discrimination was not on the part of CPS.
Normally CPS takes the kids from wherever they are and transports them to the new foster home. This time, however, CPS thought it would be okay for the Uncle who had the girls to bring them. After all, he doesn't have anything to do with "that part of the family". I was leery of it, Toni did not want him to come to our house at all. But come on, it was Child Protective Services. You'd think they'd know if it was okay or not. Their second priority after keeping the child safe is keeping the foster family safe.
Plus, who argues with CPS?
So that was the plan. He would drop them off to avoid a melt-down for the 7 year old. He wanted to help the transition to go as smoothly as possible.
We have a support beam that runs from the front to the back of our house. You can see it in the living/dining room area. It comes down maybe 12 inches from the ceiling. Well, it's really kinda in a weird place, not really separating the living room from the dining room, so I put some of our family photos up there, with the word "Family" smack dab in the middle, two pictures on either side of it, some more words, then another picture going out both to the right and the left. So when you look at it, it looks like this ("P" means picture)
We Play P We Laugh P Family P We Live P We Love
If you don't get it, that's okay. I'll post a picture later.
So the CPS lady got there first and started going over paperwork with us.
She was very nice, told us who the Uncle was and why the kids were in custody, told us a little about the kids, etc. Well, the Uncle happens to be pretty prominent in our little town, owning over $1 million in properties, etc, plus a roofing and construction company here as well.
Toni and I looked at each other. I think we both knew at that point that this could go either way. This might go smoothly, but it also may not.
Of course, we have no idea at this point how much the CPS worker knew about us and if she had spoken to the Uncle. To me, if they were involving him so much in it, it would make sense that they did.
However, they did not.
He drove up and got the girls out of the truck.
The CPS worker went outside to help.
Toni went outside to help too, because she did not know how much stuff they had.
Me and our Case Manager stayed inside and waited.
Jaiden even went outside to help.
She brought the oldest girl in and Toni followed with a basket of stuff, then came the CPS worker and the Uncle with baby stuck to his hip.
He looked up and saw our pictures.
Then he looked over at me.
Then he looked at the CPS worker and said, "So how's this going to w... Uh, I need to speak to you outside!"
He proceeded to go outside and tell her what he thought of the situation.
The rest of us stayed inside and waited.
The 7 year old found our cats and was excited.
Animals, kids, a block away from her school that she wanted to stay in.... she was happy. Jaiden was ecstatic. She had busted her butt cleaning her room, getting toys "just for her" separated so she felt like she had her own, and making room for her clothes, etc.
The Uncle marched in, grabbed the diaper bag and told the little girl,
"Come on... you are coming with me!"
To which we (me, Toni and our Case Manager) were confused by.
The little girl said, "What? Why? I want to stay here!!"
The CPS worker just looked at us and shook her head and apologized.
Toni took the basket back out to the truck.
While she was out there, the CPS worker wouldn't confirm that what I thought was happening was actually happening. But she was really, really red.
In that small time frame, another man pulled up and the CPS worker went out to talk to him.
Our Case Manager started putting up all of the paperwork.
When the CPS worker came back in, we asked her who the other man was.
It was the Uncle's attorney.
We still don't know what that was about.
In talking to the CPS worker, she admitted that what I thought was his problem was indeed his problem.
She also admitted that she should not have had him come to our house.
What sucks most about the whole thing is remembering the little girls face when he told her they were leaving.
And then taking my own little girl to the back and telling her that the girls were not going to come back. And then telling her why and watching her face fall. She was so disappointed and hurt and didn't understand.
If my own child felt that way, how did the 7 year old feel?
I just got this email from our Placement Coordinator:
I apologize about yesterday’s placements. However, welcome to the world of DFPS. The social worker should not have had the relative in your home for any reason. That was very unprofessional in addition to a breach in confidentiality. I will make sure that does not happen again.






3 comments:
Wow, I am so sorry to hear that happened. Feel sad for those kids and your family. It sucks to see the ignorance in people!!
I too am so sorry this happened to you and your family. Please don't judge all small town people and think that we all feel this way because we don't. I'm from a small town, I'm straight, but I love your blog and could barely wait for the new stories on the addition to your family. The children are the ones that I really feel for because they needed to be with you.
I'm so sorry your family had to deal with that :/ I'm also sorry for those two little angels who would have been in a great home with you guys!
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